A vent post.

I haven't posted my 14 week photo or survey yet just out of laziness but I felt like I needed to come here and blog. Earlier I was on the phone with Lieutenant and he kept making random noises and jokes amidst Lexi barking. I flipped out after Lexi snapped at my finger because Lieutenant's noises were instigating her. He told me to calm down but I couldn't...no, I was so frustrated! I lamented to him that all day long all I hear is her barking and then when we get the chance to talk, I don't want to hear stupid noises or impressions...I simply want to have a conversation. I don't think that he realizes how alone I am here. He has friends and other students that he sees every day while I'm in the apartment with Lexi. Have I made a large effort to go and make friends? No, to be honest, because I'm just painfully shy. I feel like once the baby is here it will be easier for me to make friends but the problem is I just don't have the guts to put myself out there.

More than anything, I would rather be home where my siblings are. Where I can see my nieces and nephews and talk to my family about anything. It is so difficult being a military spouse in that sense. When Lieutenant is on a TDY or a deployment and I don't really have friends and my family is 1200 miles away..its rough. Lexi is supposed to be a companion but every day she just becomes more of a pain in the ass with her constant barking. I can't even sneeze without her barking at me as loud as she possibly can. I hate to say it but as much as I love her, sometimes I would like to get rid of her. I really hope her attitude fades as she ages because it is way too stressful on me to hear barking 24 hours a day whenever I breathe incorrectly.

Anyway, I just needed to come here and vent a little. I feel like its better to get it off my chest than to harbor it all inside.