This is just a personal blog/vent I guess. Sometimes I feel like I won't make it as a military wife. I'm a complete hermit and people tend to judge me before they ever get to know me. I feel awkward going to things like military ball and dining out because I don't talk to anyone but Lieutenant. Then I see how easy it is for the other wives to carry on conversations with ANYONE...why can't I be like that? What am I so afraid of?
I just don't know what I'm doing wrong. I'm a nice person, I find a lot of different things funny and I am easy to get along with. Growing up, everyone who had problems and needed someone to talk to came to me. I listened and empathized with them. I don't know what changed.
I want to be the type of wife who isn't afraid to carry on a conversation. I want to be the wife that doesn't have awkward moments of silence (or awkward moments in general.) I feel like I have this wall built up that was built so well it can never be broken down.
You know whats funny? I always wanted to be a part of an FRG and have friends and go out for lunches or go shopping. The reality is I'm sitting at home with no girlfriends who are military wives, and the girls I hang out with are my sisters or my sister in law. They're wonderful but they don't understand military life...I just want a connection and girls I can rely on who understand exactly what I am going through.
I just want to be accepted.
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A lot of the wives won't really acknowledge a girlfriend... sad but true. A lot of the wives think, "well she's just the girlfriend... who knows if they even plan on getting married." I think it's absolutely stupid that wives are like that.
ReplyDeleteI'm a wife... and I have plenty of akward moments and I don't really talk to a whole lot people and I'm kind of shy in real life. ;)
Be active in changing yourself, volunteer at small things and get used to talking to just a few people. When you go to the store just talk to somebody there. Try expanding what you do.
ReplyDeleteAwe... Hugs! Wish you were here, Id be your friend :) You will get there really, reading this reminded me alot of how I was too in the begining. I was really scared at first and very skiddish. I wouldn't do anything without hubs or go to any functions unless I could be right next to him... I hated that feeling. It takes some time though to get comfortable with all this stuff, but really you will get there. Keep your chin up and when you feel you can do it, take a chance and jump in and get your toes wet ;)
ReplyDeleteAs Bonnie commented; things will change a lot when you are actually married. Also when the LT goes on active duty it should be easier. The Mil Ball is a low point for almost everyone; at least it was for me 40 years ago!
ReplyDeleteIf you ever make it here, I'll be your friend. I'll even teach you how socialize randomly with complete strangers... I'll even teach you how to talk to inanimate objects. :) Sometimes it just takes time to get a little comfortable with things.
ReplyDeleteI'm the same way! It's hard for me to just walk up to someone and start talking. I can be quite shy.
ReplyDeleteI will talk to someone who looks interesting. Or if I have seen them around the same area as me many times before.
ReplyDeleteHowever, I don't really have that many girlfriends either. I am friends with a couple other wives buuuuut, it is just so hard to make new friends. But... I am a new wife. My husband is just a PFC. We do what we can, but we still go out to have fun. Tonight there is a thanksgiving potluck put on by his platoon. :) I will get to meet new people there.
You just gotta jump in to it, who cares what people think. Just give it your all and good people will follow :)
hey girl! i'm a new follower. my boyfriend is also in the air force! though we aren't engaged we HAVE talked about being married and I so often have the same concerns. i only have one friend in the air force adn thats my boyfriend's best friends wife. try meeting his friends girlfriends and wives.. and keep your chin up! it's just finding the right people and timing. <3
ReplyDeleteI'm the same way :) I have such a hard time making friends and fitting into new situations. But you'll find some girls to hang out with, don't fear, there are some really great military wives out there!
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